Freddie's Back!

Wall Street, New York Sunday is the best day to lay back, get fat, and watch football. Period. Yesterday was more exciting than most Sundays for more reason than just because Green Bay woodsman is now a New York Jet. Why? Well, unless you have been hibernating, the Japanese markets have been up for 12 hours and the American counterparts are following today on news that Uncle Sam has bought out debt-ridden megaliths, Freddie Mac and Fannie May.

I can't tell you how many goddamn times I've heard junior brokers saying that these entities are "Backed by the full faith and credit of the United States." Today the Fed ponyied up, grew up, and saved us some rough times ahead. I am against regulation, fire control, and rangers in our national parks but otherwise I'm a staunch conservative ready to sink his teeth into the next bite of market share or I can wrestle from the arms of the weak.

Freddie and Fannie have made this possible again today as the market looks tender with a feast in sight. It' good to be back Rarrr!

Rarrr: We scr*wd the f*ck up, that's what happend.

(New York) "Good, I see the news has made it up to the Polar bears, so we now know what kind of animal we are dealing with here, and it is kinda of a big hairy deal."

"I want market updates on my desk by the afternoon, so that includes porkbellies and fricken forest futures. Do you hear me? We need to make this happen. Let's get to work and we'll communicate later. There's work to be done."

Rarrr, I just woke up what happened?

(Chicago) Hey this is Chicago Bear and I have questions. Why is it that some unforseen force had me awake from my slumber? Almost every year it's me who makes the decision to get up, but this year something told me I had to wake up, and man... what a dream.

I was on a fishing trip with Grizzy bear and we were horsing around, wrestling, growling, you know, the whole nine. Then we went fishing, i caught a fish in my mouth, like T-H-I-S big. It was really, really awesome. I'm so glad I had that dream, it kind of makes me hungry to think about it. That reminds me, I need to get out of this zoo and check out the cubbies sometime this Spring.

Rarrr $2 can't even buy me breakfast.

(New York) "Since when are we allowed to buy things on the weekend, or any time at all?

I mean come on, we are bears!

What if I had a lamb or goat and you had two dollars, do you think that I would share? Or even consider sharing a bite, like say, for two dollars a share? Hells no... we Sooo got the raw end of the bargain over here, two dollars can't even buy me breakfast. Rarrr!"

Rarrr I'm so pissed off right now!

(URSA MAJOR) "This is the family figurehead... and damnit, you bears really went ahead and did it this time!"

"We are going to get back to basics stat. I want constant daily updates and to know what is going on in the market. I'm so pissed off right now, and as family figurehead I can't believe how you bears have gone and screwed this up for me and bears in general. Thank God for the United States Bear Leniency laws and goddamn ranger rick looking out for all of us. I could've just shit when I became conscious of this un-bearable news. I'd be rolling over in the river if I were alive right now, I likely wouldn't have even heard till Monday if it wasn't for some Rarrrs I heard from Grizzly Bear. He was Pissed off? What's my name? Fuck you, that's my name. I Am Pissed Off. Half the reason we are where we are today is 100% poor management due to you Bears, so don't grumble - make shit happen. I'd slap you all with my claw if I could right now, and until you join me up in Ursa Major, you will listen to me roar in the collective bear consciousness. Remember, you work for me Bears! Rarrr!