Putting Bears in Jail.

New York, New York Zoo - "This is utter Bullshit, what are we, cows? The Fed is out of control! That moderate loon, Bernanke, ought to get a good mauling, that's right - we are Stern Bears and we stick together - Rarrr!

Mercy Flush & Market Update

NEW YORK--J.P. Morgan Chase has agreed to quintuple the price it will pay for Bear Stearns to $10 a share, hoping to stem criticism that the banking giant was getting too sweet a deal to snap up the ailing investment bank.

DJIA*	12548.64	187.32	1.52%
Nasdaq*	2326.75	68.64	3.04%
S&P 500*	1349.88	20.37	1.53%
Russell*	701.28	19.86	2.91%
10-YR Note*	3.558%	-1 26/32	-1.79%

Market update with Mother Polar Bear

NORTH POLE--Rrroooaar! Who is talking to my polar cub, I see comments from a wolf! I have to report the market news now Raoooaar!

Stocks will enter the final week of the first quarter with investors hoping to build on nascent gains scored after the near-collapse and subsequent bailout of investment firm Bear Stearns.

Supportive actions by the Federal Reserve, a stronger dollar, and a plunge in commodities prices all seemed to mark a key turn in the credit crisis gripping markets.

"The Bear Stearns story was kind of like the turn-around everybody was waiting for," said Paul Nolte, director of investments at Hinsdale Associates. "In any crisis, things keep getting from bad to worse until something breaks. In this crisis, something did break and that was Bear Stearns."

After a week rocked by even wilder swings than those witnessed since the start of the year, stocks recovered to post their first weekly gains in four weeks, even if the week was shortened by the Good Friday holiday.

Dow	12,361.32	261.66
Nasdaq	2,258.11	48.15
S&P 500	1,329.51	31.09
10 YR	3.33%	-0.03
Oil	$101.84	$-0.70
Gold	$920.00	$-25.30